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Old age jokes

An elderly lady did her shopping and,
upon
returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with

her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding

to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know

how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !"

The four men
didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran
like mad,
whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her
shopping
bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's
seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She

tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later
she
found her own car parked four or five spaces farther
down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police
station.

The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two
with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale
white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman
described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and
curly white hair carrying
a large handgun.
 
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Joke of the Day
Little Johnny's mother decided to give...

Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny. This is where you come from." Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd."
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