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Macho Man

What is a more macho man?At the critical moment when he can't get it up, he asks the woman, 'Does this happen to you often?'
 
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1.Three is equal to four
Theorem: 3=4 Proof: Suppose: a + b = c This can also be written as: 4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c Afte...
 
2.Dollars equal cents
Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2= ...
 
3.Dollars equal ten cents
Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cent...
 
4.N equals N plus one
Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n(...
 
5.One plus one are two
Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2Proof:n(2n - 2) = n(2n - 2)n(2n - 2) - n(2n - 2) = 0(n - n)(2n - 2) = 02n(n - n) -...
 
6.Four is equal to five
Theorem: 4 = 5Proof:-20 = -2016 - 36 = 25 - 454^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*54^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81...
 
7.All numbers are equal
Theorem: All numbers are equal.Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a +...
 
8.One is negative one
Theorem: 1 = -1Proof:1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1Also one can disprov...
 
9.Log negative one zero
Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0C...
 
10.Proof E equal to one
Theorem: e=1Proof:2*e = f2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = 1Therefore:2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*...
 
11.One equal to one half
Theorem: 1 = 1/2:Proof:We can re-write the infinite series 1/(1*3) + 1/(3*5) + 1/(5*7) + 1/(7*9)+......
 
12.Crocodile is longer
Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green...
 
13.Math is turning bad
"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the ...
 
14.Refrigerate elephants
Analysis:1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.2. Redefine th...
 
15.Two plus two is five
"First and above all he was a logician. At least thirty-five years of the half-century or so of his ...
 
16.Debate about the box
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, ...
 
17.Story about infinity
A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, ea...
 
18.The math one-liners
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity - infi...
 
19.The birthday study
It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who cel...
 
20.Answering machine
Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at hom...
 
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A man had been drinking at the bar for hours...

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being out in the car.The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriendentwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" thebartender asked."That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"
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