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| 1. | Musicians on a sinking ship
|A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together."Help!" cried the cellist, "I can'... |
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| 2. | Make me a better musician
|There once was a violist playing in the Winnipeg Symphony. He wasn't that wonderful a player, so he... |
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| 3. | The insane conductor
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where ... |
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| 4. | Violin jokes
|Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.Q: How do you make a violin sou... |
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| 5. | The autograph book
|Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom ... |
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| 6. | Contacting a friend
|Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what lif... |
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| 7. | Here is your punishment
|"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your ... |
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| 8. | Vocal jokes
|Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?A: He can't find the key and doesn't know w... |
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| 9. | This must be heaven
|So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You'... |
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| 10. | The amazing conductor
|When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical o... |
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| 11. | Arriving at Heaven
|A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false ... |
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| 12. | Operas that never made it
|Britten: A Midsummer Nightmare.Mozart: The Magic Tuba.Puccini: La Bamba.Rossini: The Plumber of Sev... |
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| 13. | Orchestra jokes
|Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of... |
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| 14. | George Bernard Shaw
|While at a concert being performed by a very bad orchestra, George Bernard Shaw was asked what he'd... |
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| 15. | Playing music
|Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony.However, it being quite h... |
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| 16. | Efficiency
|From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraR... |
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| 17. | May I speak to the conductor
|A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musi... |
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| 18. | Musical jokes
|Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?A: A new age song.Q: What happens if you ... |
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| 19. | Any last requests?
|A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and t... |
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| 20. | Top Ten Signs The Concert You're Attending is Not The Real Woodstock
|From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "A... |
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| Jokes 1 - 20 of 59 for this category |
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Pirate Jokes (20)
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