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1.You're just jealous
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!...
 
2.If you can read this
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!...
 
3.If you are psychic
If you are psychic - think "HONK"...
 
4.Change is inevitable
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine....
 
5.Better to understand a little
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot....
 
6.What is a "free" gift ?
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?...
 
7.future payoff
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now....
 
8.Artificial Intelligence
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity....
 
9.We are born naked, wet, and hungry
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse....
 
10.I.R.S.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!...
 
11.Criminal Lawyer
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy....
 
12.generalizations
All generalizations are false, including this one....
 
13.enough youth
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?...
 
14.Age
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs....
 
15.reality check
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?...
 
16.Where there's a will
Where there's a will, I want to be in it....
 
17.insanity
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it....
 
18.Consciousness
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps....
 
19.Puritanism
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy....
 
20.rise to the occasion
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it....
 
Jokes 1 - 20 of 103 for this category
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Joke of the Day
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours...

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being out in the car.The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriendentwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" thebartender asked."That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"
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