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Ready for Society?
A man who had been in a mental institution for some years finally improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The psychiatrist that ran the institution decided it was better to proceed with caution, and chose to interview him first."Tell me," said the doctor, "if we release you, as we are considering, what do you plan to do with your life?"The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life, and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you see, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped to put me here. If I am released, I shall limit myself to work in pure theory, where I believe the situation will be less difficult and stressful.""Wonderful," said the psychiatrist."Or else," continued the patient, "I might teach. There is something to be said for dedicating your life to expanding the knowledge of young people.""Definitely," said the psychiatrist."Then again, I might write. There is always a need for books on science, or I may even write a novel based on my experiences in the psychiatric institution.""Another interesting possibility," agreed the doctor."And finally, if none of these things appeals to me...I can always continue to be a teakettle!"
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Jokes
| Jokes 41 - 60 of 15585 for this category |
 | 1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6 : 7
Page 3 of 780 |  |
| | | | | 41. | The incredibly dumb
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership". He re... | | | | | 42. | Ultra dumb
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Appar... | | | | | 43. | Stupid Stories
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two... | | | | | 44. | Global Stupids
Saddam Hussein's stockpile is deadly. The smoke from his biological weapons could mix with sulfur fr... | | | | | 45. | SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN
SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday whi... | | | | | 46. | Man Killed Repairing Truck
Man Killed Repairing Truck - April 1, 1995 Kalamazoo Gazette -- James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich., wa... | | | | | 47. | The Darwin Awards
The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards have been released! These awards are given e... | | | | | 48. | WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was vis... | | | | | 49. | Technology problems
One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals wi... | | | | | 50. | The 2000 Darwin awards!
(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precip... | | | | | 51. | Very stupid musician
August, 1998, Montevideo, UruguayPaolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Urugu... | | | | | 52. | An inscription problem
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Dep... | | | | | 53. | Mariah Carey's quote
Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah ... | | | | | 54. | LICENSE TO STEAL
Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to t... | | | | | 55. | IN THE BAG
A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle c... | | | | | 56. | MADE FOR TV
Guns For Hire, an Arizona company specializing in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call fr... | | | | | 57. | DO YOU ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS?
A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year ... | | | | | 58. | YOU MEAN ME?
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, ... | | | | | 59. | DEADHEADS
A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He c... | | | | | 60. | THIS WOULD BE ME
The judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holdi... | | |
| Jokes 41 - 60 of 15585 for this category |
| 1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6 : 7
Page 3 of 780 | |
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Joke of the Day |
One day in class the teacher...
One day in class the teacher has sex education.On the black board she drawsa penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is.In the back ofthe room,Dirty Johnny stands and says "That's a penis,and my father has twoof them". The teacher looks surprised and asks "What do you mean,two?"DirtyJohnny responds,"A little one to pee,and a big one to brush the baby sittersteeth." |
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Animal Jokes (382)