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Lotto jokes
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular
diamond ring.
"Where did you get that ring?" her husband
asks.
"Well, she replies, "my boss and I played the lotto and we
won, so I
bought it with my share of the winnings.
A week
later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.
"Where did
you get that coat?" her husband asks.
She replies "My boss and
played the lotto and we won again, so I
bought it with my share of
the winnings.
Another week later, his wife comes home, driving
in a red Ferrari.
"Where did you get that car?" her husband
asks. Again she repeats the
same story about the lotto and her share
of the winnings.
That night, his wife asks him to pour her a
nice warm bath while she
gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom,
she find that there is
barely enough water in the bath to cover the
plug at the far end.
"And this?" she asks her husband. "
Well," he replies, "we don't
want to get your lotto ticket wet,
do we?!"
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| | | | | 1. | Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.... | | | | | 2. | Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his
girlfriend bein... | | | | | 3. | Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He rank half of it and poured the res... | | | | | 4. | Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender."
But when it was time... | | | | | 5. | What time does the bar open?
At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It op... | | | | | 6. | The Eighteen Bottles
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each... | | | | | 7. | After a long pubcrawl...
After a long pubcrawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red orgreen. Since they can't come t... | | | | | 8. | A fellow decides to take off early from work...
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, ... | | | | | 9. | Two friends were out drinking...
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless... | | | | | 10. | At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy...
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy askingwhat time the bar opens. "It open... | | | | | 11. | Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were...
Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the nig... | | | | | 12. | The sex talk
A drunk goes into a bar sits down and says hey hey bartender can we talk about politics The bart... | | | | | 13. | This guys is sitting at the end of a bar...
This guys is sitting at the end of a bar. Each time someone comes in the door he says, rapidly,"... | | | | | 14. | Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop...
Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop, barbequeing a chicken on a manual rotisserie. A dr... | | | | | 15. | Warning labels
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have ... | | | | | 16. | A rather novel way to...
A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the fr... | | | | | 17. | The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test...
The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the lasttest has left his system upse... | | | | | 18. | A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested...
A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested,then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:... | | | | | 19. | One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub...
One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub.Suddenly the pub door swings open and i... | | | | | 20. | Out of the Greek Myths
The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of ... | | |
| Jokes 1 - 20 of 45 for this category |
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Elderly Jokes (123)