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Welfare office

A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided. You will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.". The young man said, "You're bullshitting me, man!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
 
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1.What music do bunnies listen to?
Q. What music do bunnies listen to? A. Hip Hop...
 
2.Quips & quotes
Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet? A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home....
 
3.Light ale!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?Light ale!...
 
4.Because they're wrigleys!
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?Because they're wrigleys!...
 
5.A light meal!
What makes a glow worm glow?A light meal!...
 
6.Worm your way out of that one!
What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple?Worm your way out of that one!...
 
7.He was de-lighted!
What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?He was de-lighted!...
 
8.What's a glow worms favorite song?
What's a glow worms favorite song?Wake me up before you glow glow!...
 
9.looking for bookworms
Why did the sparrow go to the library?It was looking for bookworms!...
 
10.Boring!
What is life like for a wood worm?Boring!...
 
11.worm's favorite band
What is a worm's favorite band?Mud!...
 
12.The Apple Corps!
What is the maggot army called?The Apple Corps!...
 
13.Noah's Ark in an apple
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go on in pairs!...
 
14.Maggot Thatcher!
Who is the worm's Prime Minister?Maggot Thatcher!...
 
15.police glow worm
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?it has a blue light!...
 
16.which end of a worm is which
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!...
 
17.make a glow worm happy
How do you make a glow worm happy?Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted!...
 
18.Where in earth have you been!
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?Where in earth have you been!...
 
19.stop for a glow worm
When should you stop for a glow worm?When he has a red light!...
 
20.They use snail varnish!
How do snails get their shells so shiny?They use snail varnish!...
 
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