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Women jokes
A man was walking along a beach and stumbled
across an old
lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said "You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah.
This is
the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick
of these
wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one
wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said,
"I've always
wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get
very seasick.
"Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can
drive over there to
visit?"
The genie laughed and said,
"That's impossible! Think of the
logistics of that! How would the
supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much
concrete! How much steel! You're going to have to
think of another wish."
The man agreed, and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he
said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My w
ives always said
that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So,
I wish that I could
understand women. I want to know how they feel
inside and what they're
thinking when they give me the silent
treatment. I want to figure out
why they're crying, know what they
really want when they say
'nothing', and know how to make them truly
happy."
The genie paused for a while and said, "How many lanes
do you want on
that bridge?"
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Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward...
Rating: 
Contributed by: N/A
Date added: 12/10/2007
Joke Categories: Situation Jokes
Views: 102
| Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong?What's the emergency?""Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It's disfigured.""Well, how bad is it? Can I see?""Follow me, sir."They head down a restricted corridor and come to the firstdoor. Inside, in the respirator, is a newborn child without arms.Mister Smith is upset, "Oh my God! How terrible to be born this way!"The nurse interrupts, "No Mister Smith, that isn't your child.Follow me, please."They come to another room and there lies a newborn with no arms OR legs.Mister Smith cries, "Oh dear God! What could be worse than this?""No mister Smith, that's not your child. Follow me."Next room down, Smith looks in. This kid is only a head. No body at all."Oh my God! How awful! What could be worse than this?""Not your child, sir. Follow me."One more room left in the hall. Mister Smith forces himself toenter. There on a pillow is a single huge ear."This is your child, Mister Smith."Smitty goes nuts, "Oh Lord! What could possibly be worsethan this!? But...It's still my son. I will talk to him, I will amuse him with bed-time stories. I will sing him lullabies...""Sir, it's deaf." | | |  Add to Favorites  Printable View  Flag as Inappropriate |
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Elderly Jokes (123)
