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Once when Mary was young her school...
Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for themmary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume shewent into the family room to show her family they were impressed.Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre,and your parrot onyour shoulder,and look you even have a neat sack to carry your booty,butwhere are your buccaneers?Says Mary, my buccaneers are under my buccanhat!
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Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward...
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Contributed by: N/A
Date added: 12/10/2007
Joke Categories: Situation Jokes
Views: 117
| Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong?What's the emergency?""Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It's disfigured.""Well, how bad is it? Can I see?""Follow me, sir."They head down a restricted corridor and come to the firstdoor. Inside, in the respirator, is a newborn child without arms.Mister Smith is upset, "Oh my God! How terrible to be born this way!"The nurse interrupts, "No Mister Smith, that isn't your child.Follow me, please."They come to another room and there lies a newborn with no arms OR legs.Mister Smith cries, "Oh dear God! What could be worse than this?""No mister Smith, that's not your child. Follow me."Next room down, Smith looks in. This kid is only a head. No body at all."Oh my God! How awful! What could be worse than this?""Not your child, sir. Follow me."One more room left in the hall. Mister Smith forces himself toenter. There on a pillow is a single huge ear."This is your child, Mister Smith."Smitty goes nuts, "Oh Lord! What could possibly be worsethan this!? But...It's still my son. I will talk to him, I will amuse him with bed-time stories. I will sing him lullabies...""Sir, it's deaf." | | |  Add to Favorites  Printable View  Flag as Inappropriate |
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Joke of the Day |
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours...
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being out in the car.The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriendentwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" thebartender asked."That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!" |
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