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Sport jokes

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about
to tee
off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells,
"Wait!
Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show
you!"

The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

"It's a
special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose
it!"

"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What
if
you hit it into the water?"

"No problem," says the
salesman. "It floats, and it detects where
the shore is, and spins
towards it."

"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can
find
it with your eyes closed."

"Okay," says the golfer, impressed.
"But what if your round goes
late and it gets dark?"

"No
problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you,
you
can never lose this golf ball!"

The golfer buys it at once
. "Just one question," he says to the
salesman. "Where did you get
it?"

"Ummm, I found it."

The new CIA agents

Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who took them to a small room with another room adjacent to it. They brought the first guy's wife into the room and left her there. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the first man saying, "Go kill your wife of five years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room. He came back out one minute later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out, so get out."The second candidate's wife was brought to the room. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the second man and said, "Go kill your wife of ten years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room, but returned three minutes later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out - get out." Finally, the third candidate's wife was left in the adjacent room. The instructor loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the third man and said, "Go kill your wife of fifteen years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room where there is silence for one minute. Suddenly, there was the sound of two gunshot, followed by a huge commotion in the room. The third man came out finally, sweating profusely, and said, "You gave me blanks, so I had to choke her."

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