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Computer used too long
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Contributed by: N/A
Date added: 12/10/2007
Joke Categories: Computer Jokes
Views: 189
| You know you have been on the computer too long when...When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors....You're writing a homework assignment, and get the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line. | | |  Add to Favorites  Printable View  Flag as Inappropriate |
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Joke of the Day |
The new CIA agents
Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who took them to a small room with another room adjacent to it. They brought the first guy's wife into the room and left her there. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the first man saying, "Go kill your wife of five years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room. He came back out one minute later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out, so get out."The second candidate's wife was brought to the room. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the second man and said, "Go kill your wife of ten years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room, but returned three minutes later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out - get out." Finally, the third candidate's wife was left in the adjacent room. The instructor loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the third man and said, "Go kill your wife of fifteen years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room where there is silence for one minute. Suddenly, there was the sound of two gunshot, followed by a huge commotion in the room. The third man came out finally, sweating profusely, and said, "You gave me blanks, so I had to choke her." |
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