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The Aligator Blonde!

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, - "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!!!"
 
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1.What music do bunnies listen to?
Q. What music do bunnies listen to? A. Hip Hop...
 
2.Quips & quotes
Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet? A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home....
 
3.Light ale!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?Light ale!...
 
4.Because they're wrigleys!
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?Because they're wrigleys!...
 
5.A light meal!
What makes a glow worm glow?A light meal!...
 
6.Worm your way out of that one!
What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple?Worm your way out of that one!...
 
7.He was de-lighted!
What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?He was de-lighted!...
 
8.What's a glow worms favorite song?
What's a glow worms favorite song?Wake me up before you glow glow!...
 
9.looking for bookworms
Why did the sparrow go to the library?It was looking for bookworms!...
 
10.Boring!
What is life like for a wood worm?Boring!...
 
11.worm's favorite band
What is a worm's favorite band?Mud!...
 
12.The Apple Corps!
What is the maggot army called?The Apple Corps!...
 
13.Noah's Ark in an apple
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go on in pairs!...
 
14.Maggot Thatcher!
Who is the worm's Prime Minister?Maggot Thatcher!...
 
15.police glow worm
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?it has a blue light!...
 
16.which end of a worm is which
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!...
 
17.make a glow worm happy
How do you make a glow worm happy?Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted!...
 
18.Where in earth have you been!
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?Where in earth have you been!...
 
19.stop for a glow worm
When should you stop for a glow worm?When he has a red light!...
 
20.They use snail varnish!
How do snails get their shells so shiny?They use snail varnish!...
 
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Joke of the Day
Robber met animals

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
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