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Religious jokes

A
preacher, who shall we say was "humor
impaired," attended a conference
to help encourage and better equip
pastors for their ministry.

Among the speakers were many well
known and dynamic speakers. One such
boldly approached the pulpit
and, gathering the entire crowd's
attention, said, "The best years of
my life were spent in the arms of a woman
that wasn't my wife!"
The crowd was shocked! He followed up by
saying, "And that woman was
my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and
delivered the rest
of his talk, which went over quite well.

The next week, the
pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try,
and use that joke in
his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that
sunny Sunday,
he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly
seemed a bit
foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The
greatest years of my
life were spent in the arms of another woma
n that was not my wife!" The
congregation inhaled half the air in
the room. After standing there for
almost 10 seconds in the stunned
silence, trying to recall the second
half of the joke, the pastor
finally blurted out, "...and I can't
remember who she was!"
 
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A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk...
Rating:      
Contributed by: N/A
Date added: 12/10/2007
Joke Categories: Bar Jokes
Views: 79

A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk. So in turn a pregnant topless dancer got on the bar and squeezed the milk out of her tits. He looked at this and said to himself, "I would hate to see how they give out bloody Mary's."
 
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Joke of the Day
Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern...

Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern.To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said "Mike, I'll be havin'three whiskeys."Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. "Now, Timothy,it's not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It'scelebratin', you are."Ahh, ye know me too well, Micheal, ye do. Truth, and I'm celebratingme first blow job."Callahan smiled benevolently and set a fourth glass on the bar."Now, that's special," he said. "For an old customer like y'rself,here's a fourth on the house, so I may be sharin' your celebrationwith you."Shandy shook his head, and replied "'Tis verra kind of ye, Micheal,but I'm thinkin' if three won't get rid of the taste, four won'teither."
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