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3rd Loong List - One Liners
Rating: 
Contributed by: matte
Date added: 2/13/2008
Joke Categories: One liners
Views: 598
Q. What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A. At least when you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
Q. What's the difference between an airship and a thousand used condoms?
A. Ones a Goodyear, the others a damn good year.
Q. Why is a necrophiliac like a grave digger?
A. They both dig dead peoples holes.
Q. What's the difference between looking for a lost golf ball and a fox hunter?
A. One is a hunt on the course...........
Q. What is the result if you take a viagra with a valium?
A. If you don't get a fuck, you don't give a fuck.
Q. What do you call a used tampon floating down the river?
A. A blood vessel.
Q. Why is a cervical smear called a cervical smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
Q. What's the difference between a seagull and a baby?
A. A seagull flits along the shore.
Q. What do you call a lorry driver with a load of sheep headed for Wales?
A. A pimp.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Q. What goes "CLICK- is that it? CLICK- is that it? CLICK- is that it?"
A. A blind person with a Rubix cube.
Q. What's the difference between a policeman's truncheon and a magicians wand?
A. A magicians wand is for cunning stunts.
Q. what should you do if you come across a lion in the jungle?
A. Wipe it off and apologise.
Q. Why isn't George Michael allowed to vote?
A. He cant go into a cubicle alone.
Q. How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A. The sex is the same but you get the remote.
Q. What do you call 2 skunks doing a 69?
A. odour eaters.
Q. How can you spot a blind bloke at a nudist colony?
A. Its not hard.
Q. What should you do if your bird starts smoking?
A. Slow down, and try using Vaseline.
Q. How do you make a dog drink?
A. Put it in the blender.
Q. Why did god put men on earth?
A. Because vibrators cant mow the lawn.
Q. What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?
A. A pick pocket snatches watches.
Q. What's white and clings to the wall?
A. George Michael's latest release.
Q. What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?
A. You cant gargle with sand. | | |  Add to Favorites  Printable View  Flag as Inappropriate |
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Joke of the Day |
One day in class the teacher...
One day in class the teacher has sex education.On the black board she drawsa penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is.In the back ofthe room,Dirty Johnny stands and says "That's a penis,and my father has twoof them". The teacher looks surprised and asks "What do you mean,two?"DirtyJohnny responds,"A little one to pee,and a big one to brush the baby sittersteeth." |
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