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Another Loong List One Liners
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Contributed by: matte
Date added: 2/13/2008
Joke Categories: One liners
Views: 511
Q. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his arse on a leaf.
Q. How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q. What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
A. A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.
Q. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
A. His wife died.
Q. How can you tell if your at a bulimic stag party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q. How do you recycle toilet paper?
A. Hang it on the wall and bash the shit out of it.
Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A. Full up.
Q. What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
A. You can eat your mums apple pie
Q. What's the difference between tampons and mobile phones?
A. Mobile phones are for arseholes.
Q. How do you get a horny dog to stop humping your leg?
A. Pick him up and start sucking his dick.
Q. How do you make 5pounds of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole week.
Q. What's the difference between Prince Charles and OJ Simpson?
A. Prince Charles wife was killed by a white man in a black car.
Q. Why are women like Kentucky fried chicken?
A. Because when you're finished with the breasts and the thighs all you are left with is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q. Why did Elton John sing at Diana's funeral?
A. Because he is the only queen who gives a fuck.
Q.What is the difference between women and computers?
A. Women will not take a 3.5 inch floppy.
Q. What's is blonde, has 6 legs and roams Michael Jackson's dreams at night?
A. Hanson.
Q. What has 4 legs and 8 arms?
A. A pitbull terrier in a children's play area.
Q. Why did cavemen drag their women by their hair?
A. Because if they dragged them by their feet, they would fill up with mud.
Q. What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?
A. One says "Hey,you, get out of my cloud." The other says "Hey, McCloud, get out of my ewe."
Q. What's the difference between acne and a priest?
A. Acne comes on a boys face after he turns 13.
Q. What's the fastest way to get a nun pregnant?
A. Dress her up as a choir boy.
Q. why do tampons have strings?
A. So you can floss after eating. | | |  Add to Favorites  Printable View  Flag as Inappropriate |
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Joke of the Day |
One day in class the teacher...
One day in class the teacher has sex education.On the black board she drawsa penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is.In the back ofthe room,Dirty Johnny stands and says "That's a penis,and my father has twoof them". The teacher looks surprised and asks "What do you mean,two?"DirtyJohnny responds,"A little one to pee,and a big one to brush the baby sittersteeth." |
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